Bring me the butt of the blonde bishie elf!!
Well, between watching the ongoing war or watching the ongoing Oscars, I decided to make the constructive choice and opted to watch some of
Monty Python: Live At The Hollywood Bowl. I swear, it's at times like these that I'd rather have to worry if the albatross comes with wafers than anything else. Of course, knowing my luck, I'll be unable to get a good sleep tonight, and I'll be tossing and turning and wondering if those wafers were in fact vegetarian-friendly. Not that it would really matter if you eat vegetarian Tofu-wafers with a side order of albatross.
But that's just me ranting.
Today's seen its share of ups, downs, upside-downs, right-side-ups, inside-outs and "Whaaaa?" moments. I can't exactly say I relished every little bit of them, though I have found it very odd in admitting that if Melissa was to have a one-night fling with Heath Ledger, I wouldn't be opposed since Heath does in fact have a cute ass. I'll follow this up by saying it takes a very secure man to admit to this, and I'm sufficiently delusional to believe I'm that secure.
I cannot, however, abide by her insistence that a one-night fling with Legolas Greenleaf (as played by Orlando Bloom in the
Lord of the Rings movies) should merit equal approval by me. This has made me stop and think very carefully about why I have this severe disliking for Legolas. Well, movie-Legolas, at any rate.
Is it because he has long blonde hair, and I do not? Possibly. Is it because he can walk on snow, and I'd have to wade hip-deep in it? That's a good reason for me to not like the guy. Is it because he's impossibly bishounen (which is Japanese for "pretty-boy")? Ha! I'm just as sexy in a thong as he would be. Is it because of his pointy ears? Bah, I can have pointy ears too, just point me to the nearest pencil sharpener! Is it because he dresses like a nancy-boy? Well...in all honesty, all Elves in the movies seem to share the same fashion sense (that is: a questionable one) and to quote Guy Pierce in
Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, "Green is just so not your colour."
So in the end, when you break it all down, I dislike Legolas because the guy looks good in green, and when I try wearing green it just looks like a moss garden exploded all over me.
The moral of today's little bit of nowhere: Heath good, blonde-haired bishie-elf bad.
posted by Phillip at 6:25 PM
